Scream that word in the middle of the Castro and you’re going to provoke some hostile reactions. Whisper it into a submissive partner’s ear, though, and they might melt in your presence. If it’s the same word, why different reactions? Simple: 

context.

The word “fag” has a complicated history. For a complete etymological breakdown of the word, click here. Suffice to say that no matter its origins, in our modern times, it comes with a lot of baggage. Let me help unpack some of it from my perspective as an Alpha.

    As a male in my younger years, I absolutely used the word as an insult. I meant it as a literal association to homosexuality, just as calling someone or something “gay” would be. And why was/is there a notion that something non-heterosexual is an insult? Because of the inherent belief that our primary purpose as males is to procreate, pass on our genetics through our progeny, and repeat as often as possible until we can no longer. Anything contrary to this primal concept that does not seek to pass on its evolutionary biological roadmap is a deviation from the natural order of things and therefore less than and weaker. When you get a group of males together and let them “Lord of the Flies”-themselves, this is what will happen in many, if not most, situations. Not necessarily only through the use of this word specifically, but with the natural tussle for and establishment for alpha dominance.

    I stopped using  the term as a throwaway insult in my 20s as many of my paradigms began to break down. Education and exposure were key in this transformation, especially during my college years and subsequent move to a big city. I began to realize that most things, including social constructs and sexuality, were not binary; they were a spectrum. This was in the late 90s/early 00s, so the media prevalence then was not like it is today.

    So with all this in mind, why did I start using the word “fag” again and continue to do so today? I use it in two different contexts.

    The first is if it used as a form of consensual self-identification. If a subservient male views themselves as a self-described fag, then that’s how I will refer to them. This is similar to how I respectfully use the preferred pronouns that transgendered and non-binary individuals choose for themselves. This recognition comes from the voluntary identification of the individual and my adherence to their self-actualized awakening. If a person identifies as a female, I will respect them and use “she/her”. If a person identifies as non-binary, I will respect them and use “they/them”. If someone identifies as a faggot, I will call them a “fag/faggot”. [note: If anyone reading this is transgender or non-binary and takes umbrage by what I have written, I highly encourage them to message me so I can learn. Education is key, as previously stated.]

    When I use the term, I do not mean it denotatively as a derogatory verbal barb attempting to alter a pre-existing balanced power dynamic in my favor. Rather, it is a verbal expression of truth acknowledging the chasm that exists between our hierarchical strata from the mutually agreed upon imbalance of power. 

The connotative implication is that they are not “a” fag,

but that they are “my” fag.

    It is a verbalized bond between the two of us; Alpha vows to protect the fag, fag vows to honor Alpha.

    We all have different ways of interpreting language. This is why linguistics is often referred to as an art, rather than as a science. There is no right/wrong use of the word, but rather what matters is the context in which it is being used.

    If my use of the word offends you, I’m sorry you’re offended. While your interpretation of the word is understandable, I can assure you that this is more a case of “lost in translation” than “he’s this/that/the other”. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some fags to train.

– Alpha Titus

    What do you think? Is this word problematic? Does it turn you on? Share your thoughts in the comments below or with our community on Discord.