It’s easy to find plenty of people who will tell you how Alphas “should” behave. But tearing apart the fantasy from the reality isn’t always so simple. And some of the myths about what it means to be an alpha can actually be harmful, not just to fags but to Alphas themselves.

Myth 1: Alphas are born; it’s a natural and biological thing. We see it in nature: Alpha wolves rule the pack. 

Reality: All of the research on Alpha males in wolf packs has been debunked, and even the original researchers have disavowed it. It was based on wolves in captivity, not in the wild. Wolf packs are essentially large families, ruled over by the father of the tribe. Besides, humans are not wolves: we’re primates. Our closest relatives are the bonobos, who do have a sort of hierarchy – a matriarchal hierarchy that resolves disputes and creates social bonds through sexual activity rather than violence. 

All that said, the role of Alpha is real, even if it’s not biological. I’m a male, and while gender is socially constructed, it’s still real to my lived experience. I’m also an American: again, a social construct, but no less real for that. There’s value in constructing the role of Alpha, especially for those who feel comfortable when they’re in charge, in control, and dominant.

Myth 2: Alphas take what they want. Negotiation and discussion are weak.

Reality: Among social creatures, nothing is more dominant and powerful than the ability to listen. Alphas who listen to their fags’ needs, concerns, and desires are often better at taking charge and giving the fags the firm and guiding hand that they need. If a fag says “I want you to degrade me. I’m worthless,” that should tell the skilled Alpha that the fag wants to be treated as if they are worthless, but he should also recognize that this kind of humiliation, while hot for the fag and Alpha both, might be triggering. So, by all means, spit in his face and say “you’re worthless scum,” but afterwards, it’s important to let the fag know that he still matters to the alpha, and that the degradation was part of a scene. 

Alphas can certainly be brutal, cruel, and demanding – with fags who want that. But first they have to find out what fags want, and what they don’t.

Listening for limits is probably even more important than listening for desires. Some fags want to be treated as if they’re worthless; other fags want to be appreciated for the services they offer. Some might want the occasional sign of affection; others might find that a complete turn-off. These “soft” limits often go unexpressed. A skilled alpha can draw the fag out on them, and create a mutually beneficial experience for both parties.

Read Consent 101 for further insight into this.

Myth 3: Real alphas never do this or that sexual act, or feel this way, or act in that particular way.

Reality: Do real Alphas ever suck dick? Sure. Do they ever cry? Absolutely, unless they’re emotionally damaged. Do they ever feel weak, or feel like they’ve failed? Yes, I should hope so: those are the feelings that people have when they’re growing and learning. Do Alphas ever get sick? Or need therapy? Or have a bad day? Of course they do.

The walls that fags put up around Alpha behavior are often stronger than the chastity cages that some Alphas put their fags in. But human behavior and desire is complex, and Alphas are human. To demand that Alphas constrain their behavior, their emotions, and their desires to one particular box is to demand that they be less than human. It’s to turn a person into a sex toy for the fag’s fantasy, rather than the Alpha’s lived reality.

The take-away is that Alphas are real people, not marble images on a plinth, or sex toys to be used and thrown in a drawer still sticky. They exhibit all of the complexities, foibles, and strengths of any other human being.

And that, of course, it what makes them desirable: Alphas are men who take charge, take control, and act with decisive wisdom to fulfill their desires and the desires of the fags around them. That’s how they maintain their status and power: by recognizing needs and being the one who decides to fulfill them. When a fag needs to lick a man’s sweaty shoe, an Alpha might extend a foot. When he needs to stand up after being knocked down by the burdens of life, an Alpha will extend a hand. 

Receiving service requires responsibility, and Alphas take on that responsibility as men. They don’t shirk it, or hide from it, or wrap themselves in myths. You can safely put power in the Alpha’s hands.

And that, of course, is why fags kneel to them. 

– Thomas Carver

---

Thomas Carver is the author of over a hundred erotic novels and novellas, all available on Amazon for purchase or through Kindle Unlimited. He splits his time between Chicago and southern California. When he’s not furiously composing hot stories about dominant alphas, submissive fags, and kinky situations, he writes music, sculpts stone, and seeks adventure. His full catalog of stories may be found here: viewAuthor.at/ThomasCarver.

His website is thomas-carver.mailchimpsitees.com, with contact information, mailing list, and links to his Patreon.