Welcome to a new feature here at Elysium Lifestyle. We will be featuring interviews with some of our members, asking them each the same ten questions. This week, being the week of omegas, we interview one of our founding faggots: sportsgear. Don’t forget to stop on by our Discord to chat with them and other Elysians!

1. What role do you identify as, and how does your style/interpretation of this role align/differ from other styles you have come across?

I identify as a faggot. I do, on occasion, enjoy playing the Dom role, but my true home is in that of a faggot. I believe, like most, that my place is near the bottom of the hierarchy, but I also believe in my own rights too: safety, security, care, and agency. When I first entered the scene, I bought into the dominant narrative of my place being to never say no; no exceptions. Do not question an Alpha. Do not say “no” to an Alpha. Do not reject an Alpha. My approach to service is still similar, but I will not do anything I am not comfortable with. My goal is always to figure out how to achieve the objective the Alpha I am serving wants. I think to myself, “How can I turn this ‘no’ into a ‘yes’. Sometimes this is not possible because there is no way to achieve it. For example, scat is a red limit for me. This means under no circumstances will I do anything with shit. There is no way to compromise on this if the Alpha’s objective is for me to do something involving it. However, if I am given an order within my limits I will obey without question. On the off chance I do have a question (beyond clarification), I will be fine with “do as you’re told, faggot” as a response.

2. When did you realize and accept your role? What triggered your sexual awakening?

It has been an interesting journey to where I am now. I have always been that stereotypical faggot who struggles to talk to straight/masculine/Alpha men. When I was first exploring my sexuality after high school, I quickly discovered I liked kink (sports gear is obviously my first lol), but thought it was a super taboo thing, so I hid it and tried to run. I dabbled in and out of BDSM and kinky things, but did not take a true leap into kink until I got my heart broken the first time. In a way, this is what triggered my awakening. They say, BDSM/kink is another tool for healing and I 1,000,000% agree. I finally had the freedom to explore fully and quickly found a few people on GetDare who supported my submissive tendencies. I liked getting kinky dares from guys, but soon the dares weren’t enough because I could easily say no. That’s when I learned getting orders were better suited for my nature.

3. What was your first time fully experiencing your role like?

I’m not quite sure what I would classify which experience was “fully” experiencing my role, but I can think of the first time an Alpha called me a faggot. I was still exploring my sexuality as well as kink and had been talking to an Alpha consistently on Recon. His usual name for me was boy and I called him Sir. I liked it. It was new and fun and different. I knew I was a sub and knew I enjoyed serving and didn’t really desire reciprocation. The time finally came for us to meet in person. We met in public and were both feeling it, so I rode in his car back to his place. We started with some foot worship with some “vanilla” degradation (he was only saying things “yeah, you like that don’t you?”) and then moved on to spanking. This wasn’t really something on my radar ever and not really a big thing for me even now, but it was not a red limit, so I obliged Sir. While spanking me he told me I was going to be a good boy and obey him. But then the moment came. I got between his legs and began sucking his dick. This was still one of my first few times sucking so I was nervous. Even further, it was the first time I was face fucked. I wouldn’t say I was skull-fucked because it wasn’t super hard and aggressive, but I definitely was not in control of this blow job. Then it happened. “You like that you…FAGGOT!” He paused right before saying faggot, but then let it out like he wasn’t sure if he should say it. It wasn’t a rhetorical question like when I was worshiping his feet earlier. This was a statement of fact and I better not question it. Obviously, he was not wrong. This was the first time someone (besides a few one-offs in high school) had called me a faggot. It felt sharp. I was stunned, but still sucking. How dare this asshole who I don’t know super well call me such a derogatory name? I tried to forget it and finish serving. He called me boy mostly for the rest of the night, but there were one or two more times he called me faggot. These additional times weren’t as sharp as the first, but still noticeable. When I got home that night I kept thinking about it. The more I thought about it over the next few weeks the more I realized I didn’t hate it.

4. What do you look for / expect in someone of the opposite role?

The most important attribute I look for is confidence. I feel like it’s a cliché to say now, but I truly believe confidence is one of the sexiest characteristics in a person. There is a difference though in being confident and an asshole. An Alpha’s ability to confidently say to me “get on your knees, faggot.” will get me into fag-space much quicker than a 6-pack (although I will never balk at muscle worship). I also tend to gravitate towards Alphas I can learn from. I feel superficial saying this, but I know I’m not perfect. I do however strive to reach perfection in service as much as possible. Learning from an Alpha is as subtle as figuring out the way he likes his dick sucked, but can also be about learning how to anticipate his needs. Even further, I have learned a tremendous amount from my owner, Alpha Titus, about agency and my ability to advocate for myself. Sir inspires me to serve him. He doesn’t have to demand or force service from me, I do it enthusiastically. I want to sacrifice for him. I want to serve him. I want to do all of this because I believe deep in my heart he deserves it. I have found this is the most rewarding type of service and I would hazard to guess Sir would agree with me from the Alpha perspective. 

5. What do you look for / expect in someone claiming to be of the same role?

Nothing annoys me more than uppity faggots. You know the ones I am talking about. The ones who claim to be defer to Alphas, but yet they interrupt or tell the Alpha what to think/act/do/feel. There should always be respect for the Hierarchy. Don’t get me wrong, faggots have every right to defend themselves, but there is a way to do it respectfully. Faggots should also always remember their focus is on Alphas. Your mindset should always be about him, what he wants, and how to achieve that. Often I hear of faggots begging Alphas “please degrade me, Sir!” “Please fuck my throat!”. While great initiative hear, the focus is on themselves and the Alpha. A better way is to ask the Alpha “if you would like, I’d be honored to suck your dick.” This takes the focus off the faggot and puts it on the Alpha and what he wants. The decision is all in the Alpha’s hands now.

6. How do you develop your role to learn, grow, and improve?

Getting involved in the community was the best thing I have ever done to learn and grow. I suffer from extreme social anxiety, so I understand when others say “but I can’t, it’s hard”. I totally get it. BUT, you have to do it. I started slowly by lurking on Instagram kink accounts, then slowly started posting my own kink. Eventually I found my community in Elysium and it has been one of the best tools for me to learn. The stories swapped by members and hearing different viewpoints have really been the most educational experiences for me. I have future plans of attending kink events such as MAL (Mid Atlantic Leather) and Folsom to learn even more about kink and practice my service to Alphas. 

7. What’s the kinkiest thing you’ve ever done / want to try / or do again?

By vanilla standards I have done a lot. By some other standards I have only scratched the surface. I have tried bondage, wax play, happy ending massages, public, bathhouses, even being paid for sexual encounters. I have not done many of what I feel are the “right of passage” things for a faggot such as: anonymous, swallowing piss, getting spit roasted, gang bangs, etc. I have, however, done something quite kinky. There used to be a local Alpha who would have me wait naked in the woods for him. My orders were to wait about 200 feet away from my clothes. No way to quickly cover up. He would then come join me and spend time degrading and skull fucking me. As you could imagine, it was quite the experience for a cocksucker. A (reasonable) fantasy I have is to spend the day in a bathhouse taking as many raw loads, piss, and spit from as many men as possible. Think something similar to the Sketchy Sex videos.

8. What was one of the best or worst experiences you’ve had in your role?

The best experience I have had so far probably was before I truly embraced my role as a faggot. I only really started owning my kink and my place in the hierarchy over the past two years, so COVID has made it extremely difficult for me. However, before the pandemic started, I did have an experience at the bathhouse where I knelt in the steam room sucking an Alpha’s 8 inch dick. The steam room was the best place for action at this bathhouse, but it was relatively quiet in there that night. It was a large rectangular room with little stalls and benches made out of stone dividing up the room. The dividers for the “stalls” didn’t go all the way up so you could still catch a glimpse of what was going on. I knelt before this muscular Alpha who could snapped my 19 year old twink ass in half and sucked like I was getting oxygen from his dick. There I was: eyes closed, minding my own business sucking his cock, but then I got the sense we were being watched. Of course, I didn’t really care at all we were being watched, but that sense kicked in so I opened my eyes. There must have been 20 guys standing around watching me worship this Alpha’s huge cock. It was surreal and the first time something like that had happened to me. I felt like a slut and I relished in it. Guys standing all around us, on benches, peaking over stalls watching us. I wish I could tell you, dear reader, that this experience ended with a huge cum shot from him. If you frequent bathhouses, you know that is not how it usually goes, especially earlier in the night.

The worst experience I have had (again, before I really knew about the Hierarchy) was with a guy who pretended to be 25 when I was 20, but he was very clearly in his late 40s when I got to his place. I was immediately put off that he lied. It really is a long and boring story, but the climax (unfortunately not cum again) was when he wouldn’t let me leave. He didn’t physically prevent me from leaving, but he tried to get me to stay. I wasn’t into it any more and told him I had to leave and he threw a temper tantrum like a child. Yelling, whining, begging. It’s safe to say I ran out as quick as I could. Please always play safely. Always tell someone where you will be going, when you should be done, and even plan a “check-in call” (have someone call you during the initial meeting so if you don’t answer they raise the alert) with someone you trust. Most importantly, one of the best pieces of advice I think I know now is to never play on a first meeting. 

9. What does “hierarchy” mean to you? What brings you joy since discovering the hierarchy?

Hierarchy is community. In hierarchy we don’t have to worry about who leads and who follows because Alphas are natural leaders and faggots are natural followers. We all have our role to fill and each comes with responsibilities. But simply, leaders are nothing without anyone to lead, and followers are nothing without anyone to follow. Basically, we all need each other and should be using the Hierarchy to build each other up rather than tear each other down. Hierarchy is becoming a lifestyle to me where I just enjoy helping others. I’ve always filled the “care-taker” role with others, but now I am doing it in more or less an “official” capacity as a self-proclaimed faggot. 

10. What advice would you give to someone new to the hierarchy?

Get involved. Talk to people. Be confident. Be vulnerable. All very hard things to do, but with practice you can get good at these things. Take time to explore and learn. It’s ok not to know everything, and it’s even more ok to admit that. What’s not ok is pretending to know and then either ruining a scene due to inexperience, or worse someone getting hurt. There are a lot of nuances to Hierarchy, so take your time to explore.

And most importantly, be you. There is a place for everyone in the Hierarchy.